LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

A healthy relationship is based on two people wanting to be together. Two people who are equally committed to the relationship and making it work. An unequal commitment will likely result in one person feeling trapped or manipulated, and the other person feeling insecure.
By forming a relationship with someone just because they convinced you that you should be with them, you are giving away your power.
Being with someone you do not genuinely want to be with, is allowing them to make your choice, even though you know deep down it’s not the right choice for you. That is not the recipe for a healthy relationship, or for happiness.
Alternatively, if you know, or even suspect that your partner is in the relationship because you have persuaded or manipulated them into being with you, you will never feel secure. No matter how good you are at keeping someone with you, if you know on some level that they might rather be elsewhere, your life will be spent fearing the moment they summon the courage to leave.
Knowing that we would be happier in a healthy relationship, what makes us form relationships that are based on such an unhealthy imbalance?
Being persuaded to be in a relationship is a sign that you are not taking responsibility for your own decisions and happiness. You are giving up control over a big part of your life, and allowing others to decide what you should do, even though you know in your heart that this is not what you want.
Sometimes we allow others to control our lives because we are too afraid to take responsibility for our own choices. If I go along with what you want and it doesn’t work out, then it is clearly your fault not mine. But if I am bold, and go for what I really want, and then it fails, that means I have failed.
Sometimes, we have become so used to listening to what other people think we should do, we have forgotten how to listen to our inner voices, or have allowed them to be drowned out. If your choices as a child were criticized as being inappropriate or just plain wrong, you may have accepted the fact that you really don’t know what’s best for you.
This is not true! You are, in fact, the only person who knows what’s best for you. You just need to learn to listen to yourself and drown out the loud voices of others insisting that they know best.
If you have been used to going along with what other people think is best for you, making choices for yourself can be daunting. I suggest you start with small decisions first. Try thinking about what you want to eat for dinner, and then expressing that wish loud and clear, instead of your usual ‘whatever you want is fine.’
Once you have mastered the art of expressing your small desires, and feeling the satisfaction of having them met, you can build up to bigger choices.
Slowly developing the ability to think about what you really want, and then going about having it, is a vital skill in creating both happiness and a healthy relationship.
What if the shoe is on the other foot and you are the one who is convincing a reluctant partner to be with you? This type of approach to a relationship is almost always based on fear. We may fear that if we don’t attach ourselves immediately to the first person who comes along and shows a minimal interest in us, then we may ‘end up alone.’
We may also believe that having the upper hand in the relationship, and being the ‘stronger’ partner gives us control. This is untrue. Trying to control another person never gives you control. It is an illusion to think that you can truly control anyone else. The only thing that is really within our control is the way we respond to situations in our lives.
It is doing yourself a great disservice to be with someone who does not wholeheartedly want to be with you or whom you do not wholeheartedly want to be with. You deserve more. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone you really want to be with and who really wants to be with you.
Be patient. There is someone out there who will want to be with you just as much as you will want to be with them!

Choosing the right love relationship is a very important decision.
A healthy, loving relationship can enhance every aspect of our lives. The ideal situation for most of is having a partner with whom we can laugh and play. Who will support and encourage us through good times and bad.
The flip side of this scenario is choosing a partner who is negative, critical, or manipulative. Doing this can truly make life miserable. An unhealthy relationship can be damaging to your self-esteem, your well-being, and even your career and other relationships.
So how do you go about making sure that you choose the right love partner- one who will enhance your life and your happiness?
Be smart about what qualities you look for. Do you really think that having a partner who is very beautiful or handsome will guarantee a happy relationship? Sure, it can be nice to gaze across the dinner table at someone attractive. Admiring and envious glances from friends and strangers can give you a momentary ego boost, but don’t do anything for your true sense of self-esteem or add anything to your happiness.
If you want to be happy, then you will seek the right love relationship based more on the inner qualities of a potential partner than superficial concerns. Forming a relationship with someone based only on external factors such as looks or money is not a foundation for happiness and long-lasting romance. There is nothing wrong with having a partner who happens to be rich and/or gorgeous, so long as they also have the character traits that are most important to you.
Society and the media tell us that having lots of money, a certain brand of fragrance, the ‘right’ clothing, and a prestigious job will make us happy. We are also led to believe that only a tall or handsome hero can possibly be the right love of our lives.
The things that society says will make us happy very rarely do.
Take time to figure out what is truly important to you. Forget everything you have ever heard or thought about what your perfect partner ‘should’ be like.
I’m guessing that if you can get past the superficial concerns of your ego telling you that looking good, being rich, successful and admired are the most important things in life, you will discover that there really are things that matter more to you.
I’m pretty sure that most of us, when it really comes down to it, care more about kindness, sensitivity, intelligence, and a sense of humor than we do about killer abs and a sports car.
The most important thing is to really be clear about what your priorities are. Clear away all the social conditioning and look deep into your heart.
It is a good idea to think about what sort of partner you would choose if you were going to be stranded on an island with them. This tends to clear away the superficial concerns, and helps to eliminate the tendency to make choices based on what other people think, or what you think you ‘should’ want.
In love and in life, if we stop choosing what we think ‘should’ make us happy, and listen to the whispers of our hearts, we can trust that our choices will bring us joy, and that finding the right love becomes a whole lot easier.

Some people are optimists, some are realists and others pessimists.
Many believe this is something you are born with, you cannot change it, you either see the glass as half full or half empty.

This is not true!

You can become an optimist, just as you can become successful.
It is all your decision.

Why are people pessimists?
Pessimism comes from a low self esteem or a belief that the world is as the world is, you cannot change it.

This is usually taught to us from a young age. Parents saying, “we are construction workers and will always be construction workers”, “We are poor and their is no room for the poor man in this society”, “You don’t have a future”.

This gets pushed into our subconscious mind and becomes a part of our own self dialogue. We know that we don’t have a future, we know that we can’t work with anything but construction and we KNOW it takes money to make money.

But so many times the opposite has been proved true. People without education, without money, have succeeded.

“That is of course because of outside factors, they were lucky…”

How to change your mental programming
It is your choice to succeed.
You can succeed, you can become successful and it has nothing to do with luck. Not at all.

What is important is that you unlearn these beliefs, you have to unlearn your doubts.
The best way to do that is by learning new believes.

Your inner dialogue
Most of your believes come from your inner dialogue. What you say to yourself and who you tell yourself that you are.

People with a low self esteem often tell themselves that “I can’t do it” “It is to hard” “I shouldn’t/couldn’t/won’t”.

People with a high level of self esteem say instead “I like myself” “I can” “I will”.

One way to learn this is by taking control of your thoughts and make sure they are always positive. Whenever you hear yourself say things like, “I look fat today” or “I am not good”, switch quickly to positive affirmations like “I like myself!”.

It has changed my life
4 years ago I was a self diluting pessimist, I thought I was an optimist but once I started listening to my dialogue it turned out most of it was very negative.

I started changed it, it didn’t go over night, but every time I started being negative I would quickly counter with either “I like myself” “I am happy today” or “I love my work”.


Conclusion
By controlling your inner dialogue and confidence the image you show the world will be completely different. It will open doors for you and help you in your success.
It all starts with “I like myself!”.