ASK

After spending what might seem like a lifetime with someone, you come to the realization that there are reasons that you have to let them go. There are in our lifetime, many reasons to let someone go, and for various reasons. It might have been caused by the death of a loved one, or perhaps the breakup of a relationship gone sour. Life as you have known it will no longer be the same. Letting go of a life as you have known it, and accepting the changes that come with it, is difficult and can at times, be quite painful. However each of us faces having to Let Someone Go at some time in our lifetime.

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ASK

Most of the time people enjoy long, long lives. Lots of people live well into their 70s or 80s, and some live even longer. Slowly, though, over the course of many years, the human body wears out, just like the tires on an old bicycle or the batteries in your favorite toy. When important parts of the body — like the heart or lungs or brain — wear out and stop working, the person most likely will die. When this happens, we say this person died of "old age."

Sometimes younger people die. Sometimes a person gets very sick, and despite all the hard work of doctors and medicines, nothing can keep this person's body working. If a very sick person dies, you may hear the adults around you say that person is better off now and no longer suffering. Still, every day doctors discover more ways to prevent and treat serious illness, so the chances of a person recovering improve all the time.

Other times people die suddenly, like in an accident. This may be the hardest kind of death for families and friends to deal with because it happens so fast. There is no time for them to get used to the idea of losing someone they love. The important thing to remember about this kind of death is it's often so sudden that the person who dies feels little or no pain. We can be relieved about that.

When someone we love dies, it hurts us. We feel sad that the person will no longer be around to talk to or to have fun with. That absence leaves a big hole in our lives. Maybe you cried — that's okay. We need to mourn, or grieve, over losing people and other things we love.

But just like when you skin your knee, the first, intense pain will go away after a while. It takes time for your knee to heal, but it hurts less and less each day. It's the same when somebody dies. That doesn't mean we forget or stop missing people who died. After a while, we can go back to our lives, still loving them and remembering them always.

Remembering people we love who have died is one way to keep them a part of us. Pictures help us do this. Looking at a photo album can help us remember fun times we had together.

When someone dies, you may start to wonder if the other people in your life will also die soon. You may ask yourself, "Will I die?" The best thing you can do is share these thoughts with your family. It may be difficult — maybe even a little painful — to talk about these things, but it can feel good to share your feelings. It's important to talk about any fears you may have instead of hiding them or pretending you aren't scared. The people who love you want to know you're having these feelings so they can help.

Did you know you can also help the grownups around you when they're sad that someone has died? Can you remember a funny story about the person who died? Or something nice that person did for you? Tell the good stories you remember out loud. They will make everyone feel a little better.

There are many things about death we do not know and may never know. We do know that it will happen, someday, to all of us. But you should not worry or wonder about it for very long. There are too many wonderful things to experience in the many, many years ahead.

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[Khairul Afiq Shahril (15 years old) and his sister, Nur Qairen Fathin Alesya Shahril (1 years old) - they died on Sunday, 30th October 2011 from a tragic car accident].

“To Allah We Belong and to Him is our Return. May Allah grant them Al-Firdaus. Dear Allah..grant their family patience and bring them by Your Might closer to you through this trial. Ameen".


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