Showing posts with label SELF PERCEPTION. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SELF PERCEPTION. Show all posts
LOSING RESPECT
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Losing respect for someone is not reversible; when its lost its lost, it's gone. It's not a misunderstanding, it's a choice, a person's decision to do something disrespecting towards themselves so it's not like conflict between parties where apologizing or forgiving someone or vice versa, where strong character and respect is shown between two parties for whatever reason, where both parties gain and move forward together or move on separately but with respect and still somewhat caring feelings about each other. When respect is lost because of weak character resulting in disrespectful displays and selfish showings only one party gains and that's the party that shows they don't care what anyone thinks except for themselves so in turn they got everything that they set out for and in return also get what they show, no care, no respect by showing....no care, no respect 

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HARD TO FORGIVE
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Why is it so hard to forgive another for something they’ve said or done?  Why do we hold grudges and allow painful rifts in relationships to continue and even worsen over time? It is very difficult to forgive someone you are currently angry or upset with.  Beneath anger is some kind of pain, hurt, fear or unmet need.  If we are still feeling pain we believe was caused by something another has done (or not done) to us, we subconsciously want them to feel the same kind of pain we are experiencing.  Deep down, we want them to know, understand and experience the consequences of their actions.  Often, we want them to suffer even MORE than we are.
Unfortunately, if our intention, be it conscious or unconscious, is for them to suffer, they will almost certainly sense this and feel the need to defend themselves.  No one likes to be seen or labeled as the villain, even if there is good reason.  When they sense our negative intention toward them, part of their defensive reaction will be to see us as the “guilty one” in their mind.  They will be far more likely to judge you in return than they are to understand your pain, feel remorse and apologize.
This dynamic can escalate very quickly and lead to a continuation or deepening of the conflict and discord which can even lead to the destruction of an otherwise good relationship.
A more wise approach would be to pause and consider what we really want.  What is your highest intention for this relationship? What could you say or do that would be give you the best chance of getting the result you are looking for?  Chances are, that person did not intend to hurt or disappoint us.  When the time is right, have a respectful conversation holding the intention of finding out what they were thinking and of informing them of your internal experience.  What you want is for them to understand…. not to make them feel judged.  Avoid any kind of blame or “attack” language.  This will only increase the defensiveness and escalate the problem.
If we are successful in helping the other understand our pain or discomfort, which are nearly always based on some misunderstanding or unspoken feelings, they are much more likely to actually feel remorse and to join you in resolving the difficulty.

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MISS SOMEONE
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We always wonder why do we miss someone. We keep on fighting with ourselves that what's the reason for missing that person? When you want to continue relationship with the person you keep on missing, you need to be clear with your intention. There might be you love that person, you like that person, you respect her/his qualities or that person is always with you when you need someone to lean on. Whatever may be the reason, it's very nice feeling to miss someone. You keep on thinking about that person whole day and night or if it's worst you might start imagining him/her near you. Many people feel that it's the worst feeling to miss someone but sometimes I feel it's the sweet pain and you can for sure enjoy missing someone. The only thing you need to remember is that you have to miss the golden moment you spend with each other. Please don't ever miss bad times you spend with that person. Always try to cherish the good moments and it will surely bring a smile on your face. Another thing which people do is to hide their feelings of that person they are missing. You must keep your ego aside and convey your feelings to that person. Life is too short; if you love or you miss someone do let them know. If that person understands you, it would never ruin your relationship.

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THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!. CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY.
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Yes! I strongly feel that now one has to be increasingly aware of every word that he or she utters from his or her mouth. It is like shooting a bullet from the gun, which does not come back once it is shot from the gun. Words spoken without thinking can have damaging effect on anybody; who is at the receiving end of those spontaneous verbal volleys.

Just like clothes which reflect a person's status and background; language too is a very important indicator about the person's grooming and the character that he or she may have.That's why it becomes all the more important to choose your words carefully.

A great way of doing it would be to first ascertain the kind of audience you are speaking in front of. Educated and intellectual audiences would definitely not feel comfortable with rustic terms and might get put off by your comments.

Another great way of doing this is, to learn to be a good listener first; a method that i have been using in my communications for a long time now. If you listen to what others are saying first, it would be much easier for you to decide about the kind of communication you need to adopt for that particular discussion.

Jumping early into a discussion and speaking your mouth out might make you feel a bit out of place at times, if the other participants in the group feel offended about some of the comments.

Basically, the idea should be to let everyone speak and have their piece of minds right in front of all. Getting too enforcing about a point and proving your superiority can often result in misunderstandings being generated and the discussions being cut short and soon curtailed to a dead end without any healthy outcome.
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BROKEN TRUST
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When you trust a person, you believe that they have your best interest at heart. They wouldn't do something to hurt you for the fun of it, or for selfish gain. You earn a person's trust by consistently proving yourself to them. You show them that you will not use them or take advantage of them. You will not abuse their love or their generosity. You will think of them before acting.


Re-earning a person's trust is done in the same way, except it take a much longer period of time. People are very different as to how easily they'll trust others -- some have been seriously hurt in the past and hesitate to trust again. Others are very "trusting," even of those who don't deserve their trust. No matter the individual, you earn and re-earn people's trusts through reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence consistency of character -- you prove that you are trustworthy by your deeds.


Broken trust can take years, even decades to repair. It's a very sensitive, and even awkward, time for the two people involved. If you are the person who has broken another's trust, you can only prove by your actions, words, and kept-promises that you are now on the "straight and narrow" and have no intention of straying again. Hard work, patience, perseverance, and consistent proof is the only way to regain the trust.
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LIFE MUST GO ON
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Past is past already..you can never change it unless time will come back again but we all know it is very impossible to happen. So the best thing to do is to make it correct if you're doing bad from your past and make the best of your life in the future without mess..being careful and sensitive enough with the surroundings so that everything will be okay. I would say i've done so many mistakes before and I can't change that, instead focus and learn to be good in the future..though I mess up sometimes but there's one thing nice about it..it is just that I learned from my mistakes. I will never know what I am doing if I don't encounter fault. It is just a part of my lives. So I must learn to move on and continue what I've been doing despite failures and circumstances...I would say, LIFE MUST GO ON.
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DO YOU KNOW YOUR FRIEND?
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I don't know. I am confused and asking myself, if you are deserving of my trust. After what had happened, I started have a doubt if I should trust you again. I know how good our friendship before but since that thing happened between us I became more aloof and it’s hard for me to give my 100% trust. I think even we become okay again as a friend our bonding and trust we have before will not be the same again. There were things that need to changed after what happened and it’s really hard for me to trust people around me. I am afraid to give my trust because they're who can ruin my life. I don't feel secured every time I think of those who I accept they are true friend but behind that they have bad intentions. I know we are not safe to have those kinds of people around us but we didn’t know who have good intention and a bad one. It's hard to choose a person to become our true friend..



Orkut Friendship scraps, graphics and quotes

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YOU MUST CHOOSE!
ASK

In a marriage, what are the limits for friendship with a member of the opposite sex? Who sets these limits? What is the difference between a friendship and an emotional affair? Is an emotional affair wrong? Does an emotional affair help the marriage by letting a partner vent out all emotional frustration, which otherwise he/she would not have done with his/her spouse? Or does it kill the marriage?

Most of us have friendships. Many of us are very close in some of our friendships. We share quite a lot in such friendships. But when one develops such a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex, it can be termed as an emotional affair. Sharing intimate emotional

details with someone of opposite sex is called an emotional affair. This the the common definition. It also includes the clause that you are keeping your partner unaware about the emotional bond you share with someone else.

It hurts a marriage if after knowing about the details shared, the spouse feels that mutual trust was violated. If the emotional affair becomes strong, it may so happen that one may begin sharing more emotional details with one’s friend than with one’s spouse. That hurts the spouse and may also lead to a break-up.

It has being debated whether an emotional affair is purely emotional or it has begun because of physical attraction. Does one need a friend of opposite sex to share emotional details? Why not one of your own sex? And why does one feel uncomfortable with one’s spouse about this bond? If one wants to have emotional sharing, or to vent out feelings, one can easily consult a psychiatrist which will help her feel relieved and get advice. Or one can chose a friend of the same sex.

One who is involved in an emotional affair needs to ask own self if this is only emotional? Why do I need this person to talk about everything? You must reflect. Talk it out with your spouse. Let your head control your heart for a moment and think about the marriage and the bond. This may help you to understand an emotional affair and help you to come out of it.
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ALWAYS ACT HAPPY
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I was always taught to always act happy no matter how I feel mentally. I was raised to keep all my feelings and 'bad' emotions to myself especially around family. I was taught that no one really cares how I feel...so always act happy. Sad? Keep it to yourself. Angry? Keep it to yourself. Someone put you down and you want to tell them that? Keep that to yourself too. Everything is always peachy-keen even if my world is crumbling at that moment. I can't rock the boat and telling people my true feelings. Always act happy like there is nothing wrong, don't cause waves. I'm tired of acting this way. Now that I'm an adult, I know that internalizing all those bad feelings and emotions is BAD for me. It causes stress, depression, hopelessness and many other things. I realize that internalizing everything just makes my mental health worse. I'm trying to break out of that mentality. I'm not going to hurt people, but if I'm sad or mad or depressed..I'm going to tell you because until now I still have a hard time telling people what or how I am feeling.

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THINK ABOUT DEATH
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What is death? Do we know what death is? What do we think when we think of death? What kind of thinking is the thinking of death? I don't think it's wrong to talk about death because some people are afraid of dying like me but I think about it all the time and wonder what my kids are gonna do when I'm not there with them. It's naturally to think about death since lots of people think about death a lot. I don't think it's healthy to think about it a lot, but thinking it sometimes is normal. Yes, it's depressing....we all die sooner or later...then enjoy life now because death is forever but l ife is short.

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ALWAYS A BIT QUIET
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There's a lot going on in my mind and I don't like to share it all with everybody. Also, it's like I have a lot more mind filters than anybody else. Like there are some people who are really talkative and just seem to say whatever random thought that pops into their mind (not that there's anything wrong with that--sometimes I envy people who can say anything and just not care), and others who take a little bit more time to think about what they'll say before they say it. And then there are people like myself, who have several mind filters and sift through thoughts until they're certain that they really want to say that thing.
I think when everyone else is talking, I'm observing. You learn a lot from observing people. I like quiet people--they're usually the ones with the most substance or, you know...they're slow.

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